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I can’t stop thinking about all the “what if’s”

What if Ballet had not been taken OFF of the antibiotics I started her on?

Why did they take her off of them? How did her white blood cell count get so high before it was detected? Surely she was running a temperature…didn’t they notice?

Yes…Ballet could have had a cancer…I’d thought about that myself. I had felt all those fatty lumps myself and thought that in there somewhere could be something cancerous that couldn’t be felt because of all the fat. But I don’t believe that’s what killed her. What was her WBC count just before she passed? She obviously had some raging infection. Did they get her past that?

AMANDA…please call Cottonwood and get an email address from them so that I can email them with all my questions regarding Ballet’s passing. You can feel free to bring this post in to them so they understand how I feel about Ballet and now Tanner.

I feel the need to say to them that this is the first time we’ve lost a dog without being there, at Cottonwood, with them. Ballet had several vets caring for her…did someone not pay close enough attention? I do feel that someone dropped the ball somewhere along the line at Cottonwood. Could Dr. Porter have checked on Ballet and not even realized how close she was to passing away?

AMANDA…please call Cottonwood and tell them that Tanner most certainly had blood work done just about 2 or 3 weeks ago. You can tell them that I’m upset that when you bring Tanner in for an emergency they can’t even find their own information on him to help him. That’s another reason I want their email address. They need to fix this. I know Sheltie Rescue’s binder is big but that’s not an excuse for losing diagnostics that are important.

AMANDA…find out who saw Tanner…the female you hadn’t seen before. Possibly Daneau or something like that?

AMANDA…who did you take Tommy in to see. I hope it was Kris. If not, who? What were the results with Tommy? What medications is Tommy on now?

How’s our Zenny doing? She was sick enough that they did an ultrasound on her a week before we left. Is she still on her antibiotic medication or has she finished with that? Where is she urinating and defecating these days? She may need a follow-up visit…but only with Kris.

Right now I wouldn’t take anyone in and agree to any vet other than Kris, Cox, or Bagley…Kris being the #1 choice far and above the others.

Last night on our overnight train I had to take several medications to help me get to sleep. It wasn’t just that the train was hot and noisey but I couldn’t stop thinking about what I might have done differently to possibly change the course of events for Ballet.

Julene and Amanda…thank you so much for helping out. Thanks to all of you for supporting Amanda. Marie…we love the artist’s graphite drawing of Layla and we really appreciate your words of enouragement. Of course we wish we were home…we wish we were there before we lost Ballet in the small hope that we might have been able…somehow…possibly…to change the horrible outcome…if it was even possible to change. I just can’t shake that.

I so agree with everyone…don’t put Tap into the food room at night…let him come upstairs with you. Comfort him.

All of you hug your loving babies and love them as much as you can while you can. We lose them all too soon.

AMANDA…one more thing…whoever is treating Tanner…please find out who it is…tell them we’d like Kris to take over his case and make sure that Cottonwood knows that we could try out Neurontin on him also known as Gabapentin. It’s much more expensive than Phenobarbitol so there’s a good chance they won’t bring it up to you themselves.

Please hug all the kids for us…we miss them all so much. – Barbara

On this day..

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2 comments to I can’t stop thinking about all the “what if’s”

  • Their e-mail address is . I made Tommy’s appointment with Dr. Kris. She said that she didn’t see anything red or inflamed but she said that she could see where I had been putting medicine in his ears. I informed her that I hadn’t been putting any meds in his ears and she thought that it is possilby wax. And while I was scratching Tommy in the room, I ran across that bald spot on his hip and asked her about it. She said something that really upset me…she said that since it hasn’t grown or shrunk in such a long time that it might be from them pulling out knots in his fur when they did his teeth!!! But Tommy is now on Otomax twice a day for 7 days and the famodadine. He took his last of the Metro this morning.
    Zen seem to be doing ok but she is normally pooping in the front hall. I don’t know if she is urinating there as well or not. She is still on the antibiotic and I was going to make a follow up appointment for the begining of the week.
    I will give everyone hugs for you…except Rogue…she has warmed up to me but I don’t think she would be too keen on me hugging her lol, but I will give her belly rubs for you.
    I picked Tanner up around 8:30 AM and he went through the night without any seizures. He was VERY happy to see me and to get home. I just got off the phone with Dr. Cartenter, the vet that was treating Tanner, and she said that his blood work was fine but his phenobarbital levels were low. They were 13.7 and they like to keep it in a range of 15-45 I think she said. She also said that she can hand Tanner’s stuff over to Dr. Kris but she is only going to be there for a few more weeks! She wasn’t too familiar with the Neurontin but talked about putting Tanner on Potassium Bromide. I told her that I would talk to you first. She also said that she will be gone for 4 days but Dr. Kris should be in tomorrow so I could talk to her and let her know what medicine you want to put Tanner on.
    I hope that I hear from you soon. Take care of yourself. I will do my best to get things taken care of here.

  • Amanda–I’m sure that Rogue appreciates you opting for the belly rub instead of a hug. Hugging just isn’t her cup of tea. LOL For the next 4 days I will be back and forth to my parents farm taking care of things there, but I will still have my cell phone, so the offer is still good if you need to talk to someone, about anything…

    Barbara and Jim–I had really hoped that this trip was going to give you a nice chance to get away and get some well-deserved rest. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem that it’s working out that way. :-( I know that when I’m consumed by something, it’s nearly impossible to turn my brain off from those spinning “what if” thoughts. I want to tell you to just try to enjoy the rest of your trip, but I know it’s probably hard to do.

    I did take a picture of Angel and some video of she and Layla playing and tried to post it on Sheltietales, but it says it’s pending approval or something. Don’t know what I did wrong. Just thought it might cheer everyone up a bit to see the dogs enjoying themselves. Anyway, that’s it for now…

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